Dugaan hidup ..

Rasanya tahun 2011 baru je bermula .. baru nak masuk 3 bulan.
Tapi banyak nye la dugaan hidup ku ini .. semuanya menyedihkan. Biasanya kalau kita sentiasa di uji means Allah tu sayangkan kita .. betul ke? .. harap2 macam tu la

Bila la agaknye keadaan akan pulih sedia kala .. kadang2 rasa nak lari je pi oversea
Bawak anak2 .. keje kat sana. Masyuk jugak kan .. duduk la 5-6 tahun ke kan
Kalau age dah reach 40 or 50 baru balik sini. Maklumla anak pun dah besar and for sure akan ada kehidupan sendiri. lagi pun nak compare negara org ngan negara sendiri .. better la dok tempat kelahiran
bak kata pepatah 'hujan emas di negara org, hujan batu di negara sendiri. lebih baik di negara sendiri'

Hidup kita ni mmg sentiasa je diuji especially dgn org yg kita sayang. kebenaran di depan mata tp still nak menafikan. kenapa agaknye camtu? adakah aku yg x bersyukur atau pun dia yg x pernah amik tau.
hmm x tau la .. apa yg perlu? bersabar je la selagi hayat di kandung badan. hanya itu yg kau mampu

Mungkin sbb tu ramai sgt org bunuh diri sekarang. Sbb x mampu nak harungi semua kepahitan hidup ni
And at the same time anak pun dibunuh sbb maybe x nak anak dia hidup susah without dia. So diorang amik jalan senang je dgn membunuh diri. Tapi insyallah aku bukanlah tergolong dlm group ni. Bunuh diri bukanlah jalan terbaik utk semua masalah. Aku harap aku masih mempunyai pegangan dan Allah memberikan ku kekuatan .. Insyaallah

Sesungguhnya semua yg berlaku ni pasti ada hikmahnya. Walaupun tiap2 malam aku menangis memikirkan nasibku dan anak2. Aku berdoa semoga Allah meringankan semua keperitan dan beban hidupku. Setiap hari aku bertanya sampai bilakah aku akan hidup dgn suamiku? Adakah sehingga akhir hayatku? Sekarang pun tgk muka je nak bergaduh. Kalau bukan dia yg start enjin mungkin aku. Anything related to his mistake .. cerita ke..lagu ke..berita kat paper ke.. for sure akan menimbulkan pergaduhan dan sindir menyindir. x taula camne. kalau dia hidup dgn ku hingga ke akhir hayat adakah semua ni akan terjadi hingga aku mati? hmm Kalau la kita boleh tgk masa depan kita. Mungkin kita boleh merancang dan membuat semua preparation.

Tp sekarang pun aku dah persiapkan diriku slowly. Kita x tau apa nasib kita in future. Mana tau terbuang sana sini. So if anything happen aku dan anak2 masih boleh bertahan di dunia ni ..insyaallah

Unfaithful

Lagu ini ditujukan khas utk isteri2 yg curang kepada suaminya. Especially for that woman yg buat affair with my husband. Hopefully dia akan bertaubat dgn perbuatannya dan meminta maaf pada suaminya. And harap2 perbuatan dia takkan diwarisi oleh seluruh keturunanya. The same advice goes to my husband. Insyaallah ..

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7qCWhVf0Kzo&feature=related

Story of my life, searching for the right
But it keeps avoiding me
Sorrow in my soul ?cause it seems that wrong
Really loves my company

He's more than a man and this is more than love
The reason that the sky is blue
But clouds are rolling in because I'm gone again
And to him I just can't be true

And I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer

I feel it in the air as I'm doing my hair
Preparing for another date
A kiss up on my cheek, he's here reluctantly
As if I'm gonna be out late

I say I won't be long just hanging with the girls
A lie I didn't have to tell
Because we both know where I'm about to go
And we know it very well

?Cause I know that he knows I'm unfaithful
And it kills him inside
To know that I am happy with some other guy
I can see him dying

I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
Every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer

Our love, his trust
I might as well take a gun
And put it to his head
Get it over with
I don't wanna do this
Anymore, anymore

And I don't wanna do this anymore
I don't wanna be the reason why
And every time I walk out the door
I see him die a little more inside

And I don't wanna hurt him anymore
I don't wanna take away his life
I don't wanna be a murderer
A murderer, no no no
Yeah